Thousands of men and women go on dates everyday. Phone numbers and chat ids are exchanged in a jiffy and before you even get to know your ‘date’ (who might turn out to be a miscreant or a stalker) you’re already wondering whether a cool blue or a sexy black outfit will strike that first impression! Meeting for coffee, watching a flick, hanging out in malls, going to an amusement park or simply dining out are just a few examples of what they do on a date. And then there are people on the look-out for suitable life-partners who belong to an entirely different breed of daters. While for a few, dating might not be a ‘big deal’ (I am the way I am!), there are dozens others who don’t think twice before changing their ‘avatars’ and undergoing a transformation into something (no pun intended) that is definitely not them. What they do forget is that in doing so, they are not only portraying themselves as someone else but also under estimating their own innate capabilities and qualities as individuals.
Dating isn’t bad! After all it allows us to make room for someone new in our life, who may become a friend, a soul mate or even a guide in a short span or the long run. But the apprehensions remain – will she like me? Will he notice that I am flabby? Will she be a snob? Will he turn me down? Therefore, to help you strike the right cord with this new entry in your life, we have a quick checklist for you to flip through and hit it at go!
Be Yourself: Act naturally, although leaving a good impression gets the better of most people. It is important for your date to like the real you. It is okay to be who you are. Any pretension might lead to your date turning you down and there wouldn’t be any succeeding dates between the two of you anyway!
Time matters: Don't be early and don’t be too late too. While the former might portray you as a ‘desperado’, being late will reflect your lack of interest in your date. Be keen and be on time to show that you care about the other person’s time and have made a genuine effort for your date to be a success.
Keep your ears open: Being a good listener is very, very important. Give your date the chance to talk. Listening to your date will show that you care for what he or she has to talk about. That will make a great impression. Plus, it will help you know your date better.
Have a talk: Seriously now, “you say something… no you say something” is really old fashioned. It’s funny to see two daters sitting across the table, silently sipping coffee and noticing other people notice them. Start off easy. Initiate a conversation – talk about yourself, your likes, dislikes, etc. You do not want to step on unknown territory. Do not start excavating history, especially your past (broken) relationships. It instantly draws a comparison between your earlier partner and your date, and is a big turn-off! Don't be too negative about anything. Have a positive, friendly attitude. Don't wear your heart on your sleeve; a little bit of mystery will keep your date keen. People typically love an intelligent individual. Believe it or not, the level of intelligence in a conversation potentially has the same weight as the level of physical attraction; it all depends on how smooth the situation goes. Make it worthwhile!
Don’t be a brick. Have fun: A person may go on a date for various reasons. But whatever they may be, it is very important for that person to feel comfortable and have a great time in your company. Whether you choose to go to the theatre or catch up for lunch, as long as you’re having fun spending time with each other, everything will go well.
Don’t shy from looking into the eye: Whether your date is a success or not depends on eye contact. Let your date feel that your eyes are set only on him or her. It will reflect your interest in the person and what he or she has to say. It is also a great boost for your date which will quite spontaneously add a zing of comfortable attraction.
Study your date: It is very important to study a stranger you are meeting. This will reveal many useful things, including the fact whether this person is your type or not in the first place. Having studied your date you are ready to initiate a conversation of interest. You know whether your date is serious, humourous or of a platonic type. Depending upon your study, you can try to hit it big and make your conversation useful.
Compliment: Appreciation is another positive way of welcoming a person in your life, whatever is the span of time. People don’t want to hear negative things about themselves, that too from an almost complete stranger, anyway! Give compliments on appearance, fashion, hair-style, sense of humour, intelligence, special abilities, attitude…the list doesn’t end (either for the girls or the guys). Make the person feel special and your date will be a sure-shot success.
Relax baby! : Be at ease in each other’s company as much as possible. Try to find positive things in your date rather than making a note of the negatives. Laugh at each other’s jokes (however, forced laughter is a strict ‘no-no’ as it is more of a mockery of the other person. Allow some chemistry to happen (don’t wait for it to happen). Laughing strengthens your bond and breaks the ice too! And please, don’t look bored!
Last but not the least, some personal-grooming tips:
Presentation – No matter how you look, feel good about yourself. That will unleash a lot of confidence and make you feel good too. Try to work on everything as much as possible – clean nails, well-brushed hair, even the right perfume. Don’t go overboard. Presenting yourself well is not restricted to flamboyant attire and birthday-cake make-up. Do your bit without masking the real you. Good presentation gives your date the idea that you care about the meeting, and that, makes all the difference.
Now you know how to call it a day with a smile on a date! Of course, it all depends on your definition of "success." Be yourself! Remember you're both in the same situation; you are perfect strangers and you both are in need of a break. This is why you're out on a date, right? But for the sake of basics, make a successful date by simply making yourself feel confident for a second one.
And you can take on from there!
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