Money, name, fame, power, influence and recognition – these may be the hymn words for many who judge ‘success’ according to these parameters. But for a few the concept of happiness is the ‘be all and end all’ factor that defines success. Let's delve into the psyche of commoners and aim at deriving an answer to the ever elusive question that has perplexed mankind since the day he was tagged as a ‘social animal’ – what is success?
In certain South American tribes, when a young man comes of age, he has to prove his manhood in a sacrament that expects him to jump off a tall tree in order to prove his manhood. Although a bit apprehensive before the jump, when he eventually performs the rite, his heart swells with pride, for he is now a successful man, ready to take on life with the rest of his tribe.
Success has many forms. Some consider amassing heaps of wealth as an indicator of success while others believe that it lies in finding ultimate happiness in life. To this the former lot argues that since money rules the world, without the moolah, there is no happiness either. Since time bygone, people have associated ‘affordability’ as a gauge of success. However, for some success lies in being content and at peace with oneself.
Another point that baffles the mind is the fact that success is short-lived. One may scale the heights of success today but taste the dust tomorrow! So, who really decides when has success been achieved up to the optimum? And is there really any optimum to this concept? When we look at movie-stars, or sports-stars, business men or youth idols, we believe that they are people of some worth; that ‘they have arrived’ in life. The facade makes us totally ignorant of the fact that their personal lives may be an utter disaster. Will it still be right to say that these people are winners? Have they achieved all that they could, and by all means, out of their lives; that they have not only lived but also battled life till the last breath and also partaken of its last dregs? In other words, is their life now totally futile? Does life become a mere sham once you have arrived? Or is name, fame and acclaim all but a mind-game?
Who could give more valuable insights into the concept than the ones who have, as per their own parameters, arrived in life and those who are still in its pursuit? Here are a few excerpts.
I have arrived
Shreeja Mathur, home-maker, “Though I am not working, but being able to live happily with my husband who supports me and two lovely children to look after and adore, I feel my life is pretty balanced and complete. My husband has a stable job, a salary every month and he takes good care of the family. I am in charge of running the household smoothly and making sure that there is comfort and support for all. We share our happiness as well as our woes together. It is one happy family under a roof. This to me is success.
Prakash Khanna, businessman, “If you ask me, what is the most important thing in life, I wouldn’t think twice before answering ‘money’. Just because a bank, a car dealer or even a family member tells you that you can handle everything on your plate, doesn't necessarily mean that you can. You have to know your capabilities as well as your limitations and to handle everything, you need money. I have enough that will keep me going quite comfortably in this lifetime. I don’t need to feel ashamed to say that I can afford a house worth a couple of crores. I have earned it and I am proud of accomplishing it. And if I can do better than providing a roof over my family’s head, clothes on their backs and three meals a day, why shouldn’t I? Especially given the economic times we are finding ourselves in right now.
Varun Saigal, college student, “While I think I am successful, the actual credit goes to my dad. I have no qualms about being brought-up in luxury. I love my lifestyle, especially my cars with customized number plates on them. Wherever I go, people make a note of my presence. My friends and I hang out at the best of places. Going to exotic locations is no big deal for my family; my dad has earned so much money! Do you think I would be flaunting branded clothes, branded accessories, these super cars if I had no money? No way! But it’s not my fault that I have them. I could do without doing anything in life but frankly I haven’t given that a serious thought either. May be I’ll go for an MBA abroad and come back and join my dad’s business. Let’s see. But for now, for what I am, I feel like a winner.
Success is a dynamic concept. While for Shreeja and Prakash, success is defined by the realization of dreams and goals in life, vis-à-vis also finding contentment in one’s accomplishments, Varun believes that he is a winner because he can get anything he lays his eyes on. None of them are wrong. Success to some may be the ability to support themselves, share their lives with someone, have a happy social life and typically have everything well spaced-out and balanced.
Says Saraswathy Vishwanathan, Teacher, “the ability to cope with one’s life is another factor that determines success. A life well-spent is a meaningful life. A person who is happy, satisfied with life, and effectively balances his social ties and work obligations, is a successful person to me. People need not be very rich. As long as they are able to sustain their daily living, and family expenses, and loving what they do, even if their daily life might appear as a drudgery, and have meaning in their life, they are winners.
It is difficult to gauge the success quotient of an individual. As Freud said, ‘every individual is unique’, we must understand that the dreams of different people are also unique and different. Everybody is gifted with a certain potential to harness their capabilities and realize their dreams. True success can be achieved only when every individual learns to be independent, provides for himself and depend and rely on himself. This does not mean that if you lose your job today, you are a loser or unsuccessful. Instead, realize that this temporary break from your ‘successful life’ has provided you with a chance to explore better opportunities, and once this realization dawns, get back to life with new zeal. That is ‘having arrived’ in the truest sense of the term.
In Pursuit of Success
Akshara Shivhare, model and actor: “My journey in life is not complete yet. I have not reached the successful stage of my life yet. According to me, name, fame and acclaim are the benchmarks of a successful life and since I am still at the initial stage of my career, I have a long way to go before I can call myself successful.”
Amandeep Singh, Senior Manager: “Given my age you would typically want me to acknowledge that I have arrived in life. But for me, it is rather complex. On one hand I do have most of the things I had planned for myself ten years ago but on the other, I also know that it is a long journey. The societal scenarios are changing. What seems to suffice today may be insufficient tomorrow. And that is directly proportional to one’s mental and psychological condition. So the strife continues. There is no negating the fact that our material needs are related to our spiritual satisfaction. But the scales are always heavier on one side. And I am no ascetic (laughs)! As long as I endeavor to keep the scales balanced, I can only say that I am trying, but haven’t really got there.”
So it is right to assume that whatever your argument about success is, you should own it completely. You should not allow the society, your friends or even your near and dear ones barge in and say that you are not a success. In present times, we have all fallen prey to ‘keeping up with the neighbors’ syndrome and the competition makes life really, really sad and weary. Success to some may come in the form of simply being able to wake up with that special someone one day or putting their children to sleep with a lullaby and a kiss. To some others, success might come in the disguise of having graduated or getting a job To still others, success could mean the biggest house in the posh, uptown locality, flanked by high walls and housing more cars than the number of residents.
To dream big is wonderful provided you are always careful of not biting off more than you can chew. Frankly, there is no harm in being able to flaunt nice things or brag about certain accomplishments, but the reality is that there are certain limitations on anything that we would like to do. Success, like many things in life, is a choice. With that said, if you have made your choices and you live through them successfully, there is no denying the fact that ‘you have arrived’.
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