I Have Arrived!

Money, name, fame, power, influence and recognition – these may be the hymn words for many who judge ‘success’ according to these parameters. But for a few the concept of happiness is the ‘be all and end all’ factor that defines success. Let's delve into the psyche of commoners and aim at deriving an answer to the ever elusive question that has perplexed mankind since the day he was tagged as a ‘social animal’ – what is success?

In certain South American tribes, when a young man comes of age, he has to prove his manhood in a sacrament that expects him to jump off a tall tree in order to prove his manhood. Although a bit apprehensive before the jump, when he eventually performs the rite, his heart swells with pride, for he is now a successful man, ready to take on life with the rest of his tribe.

Success has many forms. Some consider amassing heaps of wealth as an indicator of success while others believe that it lies in finding ultimate happiness in life. To this the former lot argues that since money rules the world, without the moolah, there is no happiness either. Since time bygone, people have associated ‘affordability’ as a gauge of success. However, for some success lies in being content and at peace with oneself.

Another point that baffles the mind is the fact that success is short-lived. One may scale the heights of success today but taste the dust tomorrow! So, who really decides when has success been achieved up to the optimum? And is there really any optimum to this concept? When we look at movie-stars, or sports-stars, business men or youth idols, we believe that they are people of some worth; that ‘they have arrived’ in life. The facade makes us totally ignorant of the fact that their personal lives may be an utter disaster. Will it still be right to say that these people are winners? Have they achieved all that they could, and by all means, out of their lives; that they have not only lived but also battled life till the last breath and also partaken of its last dregs? In other words, is their life now totally futile? Does life become a mere sham once you have arrived? Or is name, fame and acclaim all but a mind-game?

Who could give more valuable insights into the concept than the ones who have, as per their own parameters, arrived in life and those who are still in its pursuit? Here are a few excerpts.

I have arrived

Shreeja Mathur, home-maker, “Though I am not working, but being able to live happily with my husband who supports me and two lovely children to look after and adore, I feel my life is pretty balanced and complete. My husband has a stable job, a salary every month and he takes good care of the family. I am in charge of running the household smoothly and making sure that there is comfort and support for all. We share our happiness as well as our woes together. It is one happy family under a roof. This to me is success.

Prakash Khanna, businessman, “If you ask me, what is the most important thing in life, I wouldn’t think twice before answering ‘money’. Just because a bank, a car dealer or even a family member tells you that you can handle everything on your plate, doesn't necessarily mean that you can. You have to know your capabilities as well as your limitations and to handle everything, you need money. I have enough that will keep me going quite comfortably in this lifetime. I don’t need to feel ashamed to say that I can afford a house worth a couple of crores. I have earned it and I am proud of accomplishing it. And if I can do better than providing a roof over my family’s head, clothes on their backs and three meals a day, why shouldn’t I? Especially given the economic times we are finding ourselves in right now.

Varun Saigal, college student, “While I think I am successful, the actual credit goes to my dad. I have no qualms about being brought-up in luxury. I love my lifestyle, especially my cars with customized number plates on them. Wherever I go, people make a note of my presence. My friends and I hang out at the best of places. Going to exotic locations is no big deal for my family; my dad has earned so much money! Do you think I would be flaunting branded clothes, branded accessories, these super cars if I had no money? No way! But it’s not my fault that I have them. I could do without doing anything in life but frankly I haven’t given that a serious thought either. May be I’ll go for an MBA abroad and come back and join my dad’s business. Let’s see. But for now, for what I am, I feel like a winner.

Success is a dynamic concept. While for Shreeja and Prakash, success is defined by the realization of dreams and goals in life, vis-à-vis also finding contentment in one’s accomplishments, Varun believes that he is a winner because he can get anything he lays his eyes on. None of them are wrong. Success to some may be the ability to support themselves, share their lives with someone, have a happy social life and typically have everything well spaced-out and balanced.

Says Saraswathy Vishwanathan, Teacher, “the ability to cope with one’s life is another factor that determines success. A life well-spent is a meaningful life. A person who is happy, satisfied with life, and effectively balances his social ties and work obligations, is a successful person to me. People need not be very rich. As long as they are able to sustain their daily living, and family expenses, and loving what they do, even if their daily life might appear as a drudgery, and have meaning in their life, they are winners.

It is difficult to gauge the success quotient of an individual. As Freud said, ‘every individual is unique’, we must understand that the dreams of different people are also unique and different. Everybody is gifted with a certain potential to harness their capabilities and realize their dreams. True success can be achieved only when every individual learns to be independent, provides for himself and depend and rely on himself. This does not mean that if you lose your job today, you are a loser or unsuccessful. Instead, realize that this temporary break from your ‘successful life’ has provided you with a chance to explore better opportunities, and once this realization dawns, get back to life with new zeal. That is ‘having arrived’ in the truest sense of the term.

In Pursuit of Success

Akshara Shivhare, model and actor: “My journey in life is not complete yet. I have not reached the successful stage of my life yet. According to me, name, fame and acclaim are the benchmarks of a successful life and since I am still at the initial stage of my career, I have a long way to go before I can call myself successful.”

Amandeep Singh, Senior Manager: “Given my age you would typically want me to acknowledge that I have arrived in life. But for me, it is rather complex. On one hand I do have most of the things I had planned for myself ten years ago but on the other, I also know that it is a long journey. The societal scenarios are changing. What seems to suffice today may be insufficient tomorrow. And that is directly proportional to one’s mental and psychological condition. So the strife continues. There is no negating the fact that our material needs are related to our spiritual satisfaction. But the scales are always heavier on one side. And I am no ascetic (laughs)! As long as I endeavor to keep the scales balanced, I can only say that I am trying, but haven’t really got there.”

So it is right to assume that whatever your argument about success is, you should own it completely. You should not allow the society, your friends or even your near and dear ones barge in and say that you are not a success. In present times, we have all fallen prey to ‘keeping up with the neighbors’ syndrome and the competition makes life really, really sad and weary. Success to some may come in the form of simply being able to wake up with that special someone one day or putting their children to sleep with a lullaby and a kiss. To some others, success might come in the disguise of having graduated or getting a job To still others, success could mean the biggest house in the posh, uptown locality, flanked by high walls and housing more cars than the number of residents.

To dream big is wonderful provided you are always careful of not biting off more than you can chew. Frankly, there is no harm in being able to flaunt nice things or brag about certain accomplishments, but the reality is that there are certain limitations on anything that we would like to do. Success, like many things in life, is a choice. With that said, if you have made your choices and you live through them successfully, there is no denying the fact that ‘you have arrived’.

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Tattoo: The Living Art

Tattoos can well be defined as live art reflecting an individual’s unique personality, psyche and character. Getting a tattoo is no more a fad but a common practice today. Tattoos are worn by the rich and famous as well as the poor and unknown. People with tattoos have one thing in common – their desire to enhance their self-image through the use of colorful skin designs. Ready to take a plunge?


Ancient, forgotten tribes have from eons immemorial used coloured ink to depict primitive human characteristics like tribal status, personal achievements, personality traits, gods, demons and the forces of nature in the form of decorative body art, known to the modern civilisation as ‘tattoos’. In the primitive ages, certain colours might have represented success in love or war; various animal symbols could have suggested a desirable personality trait. But the art of tattooing in modern times is a cult – far more dynamic in character, much more varied in its depictions.

Specialised tattoo artists inject coloured dye below the skin’s surface using a hollow needle. Tiny dots of colour are injected along a pre-selected design. When the ‘mildly’ painful task is over, a colourful pattern emerges to illustrate a picture, a verbal phrase, a symbol or even an object. A tattoo can be made on any part of the human body, depending on whether one wants it for public display or personal viewing only. The size may range from a tiny dot to gigantic designs that spread across the length of the torso, a limb or even the entire back. Tattoos are an addiction and it is a common practice by those who already have one to return back for more.

Why do you want a tattoo?

Different people get different tattoos for very different reasons. The motive may be interesting, bizarre, personal, obscure or even funny. Head-bangers and DJs get tattoos to impersonate popular rock-stars like Eminem and increase their ‘cool-quotient’. People in love get names of their partners tattooed on their arms, wrists, neck, back, chest, et al, just too please their partners or prove their commitment in the relationship. A few others get tattoos to show their affiliation to a group – Marxists, capitalists, nihilists, romantics, raiders, pirates or even alcoholics! Some get it to identify themselves with a certain sub-culture famous for tattoos while others wear them to flaunt their independence, individuality, style and uniqueness. As ironical as it may sound, some people get themselves tattooed to remind themselves of fond memories of a special period in their life and some to remind themselves of the hurt inflicted upon them by someone who didn’t care! Quite frankly, all of the above are valid reasons for getting tattoos.

“Portraits of your loved ones or gods are very much in this season. This is people’s way of showing how much they care for them,” says tattoo artist Lokesh Verma from Devil’z Tattooz.“People prefer portraits of their spouses, girlfriends and kids. In fact, I recently did a portrait of a guy’s girlfriend on his arm. One of my other famous portraits has been Heath Ledger’s character of ‘The Joker’ from ‘The Dark Knight’. People also like to have gods like Shiva, Rama, Krishna and Sai Baba,” says Verma.

Ajit Singh, director of another reputed tattoo parlour feels the same. “There’s a particular thing involved in tattoos and it is called shading which is done with the grey wash ink - a mixutre of black ink and distilled water. Portraits are the most time-consuming and the hardest because there are wrinkles on the skin and not a single wrinkle can be missed from shading. Images have a lot of intricacies and they have to be of a favourable size - a minimum of about five inches. You can’t have very small portraits or the image will lose its intricacy,” explains Singh.

Media professional Vishal Gupta, 21, who has the portrait of Leprechaun, a male fairy from Irish folklore, as he believed it was his lucky mascot says, “Ever since I was a child, I found that he was very lucky for me and hence when I decided to get a tattoo, I knew what I wanted”.

The risks involved

A tattoo is a permanent body art, and this means ‘permanent’ with a capita ‘P’. A tattoo is designed to last. However, it may need a touch-up after sometime to brighten the colors, which usually fade or become lack-lustre over time.

The primary concern with getting skin tattoos is the possibility of health risks. For instance, if the needle used during the process has been used by others infected with certain blood-borne diseases, you may become exposed to the same bacteria and develop conditions as severe as hepatitis or even HIV. Blood poisoning or skin infection is also possible if the needle happens to become contaminated by airborne or localized germs. Ensure that the tattoo artist's hands and equipment are sterile, and that the proper technique is used for designing the tattoo on your body.

Some other problems you may face with your tattoos are as follows:

Getting a tattoo may impact your personal or professional life too. For example, some employers do not want their workers to exhibit tattoos in the presence of clients. And one may have to cover up one’s tattoo or stay away from clients at the workplace.

Curiosity kills the cat! A tattoo is a very personal thing but since it is mostly out for public display, people may not look at it in the right sense or even ask personal questions driven by their curiosity. You may be required too cover yourself up properly in a negative environment.

If, after getting a permanent tattoo, you wish to have it removed, you will need to visit the tattoo specialist and have the dye removed from your skin. This can be a difficult and painful process, as well as costing more money.

Removing a permanent tattoo is neither cheap nor easy. You may look at quite a bomb of an amount to be shelled out while considering a laser surgery to have the tattoo off your body. A non-laser technique will leave you with an ugly scar. Bad news is, health insurance companies do not fund tattoo removals.

Celebrities and their love-affair with tattoos

From rock stars, to movie stars, from pop stars to athletes and even the socialites, almost everyone is a proud owner of a tattoo design and body art. Shedding off their stigmatic perception of tattoos, they have been flaunting more and more tattoos to sport their style, status, fashion and freedom.

Soccer star David Beckham is known as much for his fashion sense and tattoos as he is for hsoccer playing abilities so much so that his entire body looks like a gigantic tattoo museum! Right from the name of his first son, Brooklyn, to that of his second son Romeo and moving on to the third named Cruz, Beckham’s body sure is a masterpiece of body-art. Besides these, he has a ‘guardian angel’ on his shoulder blades, a winged cross on the back of his neck, his wife Victoria’s name written in Hindi on his left arm, and the Roman numeral VII and the Latin phrase “Perfectio In Spiritu” inscribed on his right arm!

Following Beckham’s footsteps are Academy-winning actress Angelina Jolie who has various tattoos in mixed languages, styles and forms on her arms, stomach and back, gathered during her tours around the world.

Epic boxer Mike Tyson recently expanded his tattoo collection (which includes Chairman Mao and his name Mike) to include a tribal-style facial tattoo which is inspired from the Maori tribes and their fighting spirit.

Our very own Bollywood siren Mandira Bedi was in a thick controversy when she walked the ramp with the religious Sikh symbol ‘Ek Omkar’ tattooed on her bare back. Besides this, a Buddhist symbol tattooed on her naval has also grabbed a lot of eyeballs.

Action hero Sanjay Dutt has his parents’ name inked on his body. Chhote Nawaab Saif Ali Khan was much in news when he got girlfriend Kareena’s name inked on his arm. Esha Deol has the ‘Gayatri Mantra’ tattooed on her back. Among other ‘much talked about’ bollywood celebrities, Suniel Shetty, John Abraham, Rakhi Sawant and her boyfriend Abhishek, Salman Khan, Sushmita Sen and many others are now getting into the groove and trend of the hot body art with tattoos!

Like any other expression of art, tattooing requires a lot of aesthetic sense, patience and artistic skills. It is advisable to weigh the risks and benefits of getting a tattoo before making a head-on decision that is likely to be permanent. Tattoos can be beautiful and exhilarating and can totally transform your world. Make sure that you want it and make sure that you do it right.

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Single and Successful!

Are we prepared to shed the garb of prejudiced clichés that concern our relationship status and warmed-up to accept ‘being single’ as an alternative way of life? get set to delve into your persona to discover essential truths about your socio-romantic liaisons.

What really are the perks of having someone in your life if most of your needs are being met? Answer the following questions to find out whether you really need someone to tag along by your side or are you just as happy being single:

• Do you feel lonely?
• Do you need someone to help you take decisions?
• Are you comfortable attending social do’s as a single person?
• Do you see being single as an acceptable alternative lifestyle?
• Do you feel complete or are you in constant search for your ‘other missing’ half?
• Are you spending enough time planning your personal growth rather than seeking a relationship?
• Do you look at your friends as people who you can and love to be with rather than as potential love interests?

There is a thin but temptingly overpowering line that divides singleness from being in a relationship. Let’s face it, we are always in constant need of a companion – someone we can talk to, go to the movies together, have dinner with or possibly someone who knows us even better than we know ourselves. All of us want that and resign ourselves to thinking that our life is incomplete without that ‘special someone’. But on the other hand, as greedy as human expectations can get, somewhere at the back of our minds, we also crave for that iota of independence, a self-crafted cocoon where we can be whoever we like, do whatever we like and be answerable to nobody for our thoughts or actions.

This leaves us at a cross-road – is it okay to be single? Do I really need someone in my life? Now is the time for some introspection about why it’s perfectly okay to be single. Good news is that it is none other than the multitudes of couples in our society who have brought about many changes in attitude towards being single. (Remember, the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence?).The societal point of view is undergoing a transformation. We are opening up to accepting individual differences revolving around our relationship status so much so that ‘being single’ is gradually becoming an acceptable alternative in our very own Indian society.

Glad to be single!

Most single people we are acquainted with are wonderful people – beautiful, intelligent, stable and really nice human beings. They are not in a conscious pursuit of a relationship. However, they do not bar themselves from considering a ‘someone special’ coming along their way. But if such a situation never presents itself before them, they are not bogged down or demoralized. They are good with everything, be it work, having fun with friends or taking care of themselves.

Singleness can be one of the most prolific stages of your life, i.e. if you are mentally and emotionally prepared for it. Sour wounds from bygone liaisons heal faster and your self-created discriminations gradually dissipate to allow a stronger and bolder person to emerge. Singleness is a time to accentuate your personal growth. It facilitates the building up of confidence in yourself so you can experience and enjoy being who you are rather than being lonely. Living as a single person is a self-proclaimed avowal of strength and self esteem and not an embarrassing acceptance of failure.

The irony resides in the fact that most of us do not know the importance of being single till we are either married or in a relationship. It seems that people have been paired up to be together even back in the beginning of time. Whether or not it is out of an evolutionary process or simply for human companionship, people are meant to spend their life with someone. We move from a parental environment to a marital environment. As crude as it may sound we do not reason in favour of being single; we never question the myth of a marriage ‘lived happily ever after’.

Singleness furnishes the opportunity to become a responsible adult. Because the roles we act out in our relationships are so closely related to our internal attitudes and feelings, we undergo a change inside in keeping with our external roles. Singleness stage is a key period to make the internal changes in attitudes and feelings necessary for personal growth.

To be or not to be in a relationship?

Let’s take dating or courtship period as an example. 23 years old Nisha Bhagnani, a student and single says, “Why get married? I can come and go as I please. I don't have to adjust my daily living habits to suit the ways of another person. Being single sure feels good!"

In another scenario, Pravin Arora, who recently broke up with his girlfriend after three years of being together fears, "Forget time, money and energy, a break-up makes you realize that you have lost a part of yourself with the relationship. Sometimes I do wonder whether I need another love relationship to grow over my ex, or I should be cautious so that I don’t burn my fingers again!”

“The irony resides in the fact that most of us do not know the importance of being single till we are either married or in a relationship. It seems that people have been paired up to be together even back in the beginning of time. Whether or not it is out of an evolutionary process or simply for human companionship, people are meant to spend their life with someone.”

Prior to the singleness stage (never been in a relationship), one may be looking for the ‘lost half’. But during this stage one reaches the point of comfort in going out alone. No longer is a ‘date’ to enjoy the simple pleasures that life has to offer. Moreover, the quality of relationships improves; now you choose the person you want to hang out and spend time with rather than being dragged by your partner to places you don’t want to be in the first place. ‘Sharing’ takes over ‘needing’ and other people can be enjoyed for who they are and not compared with or judged as potential life partners. So far you have been doing things that your partner has wanted you to do. But being single, you find time to develop new interests, or to pursue something you may have wanted to do for a long time. It might be to learn to play the guitar, to paint, to drive a car, or to play a new sport. You learn to see the real world better. You learn to know yourself better. You understand people and your interactions with them much better. Your viewpoint of life is much broader and you remove your blinkers to understand concepts you never understood!

Is being single easy?

Being single is not really a cake-walk! Single people may not fare well economically. Some, especially women, are passed over for promotions because they are single and fair game romantically or even sexually. It often takes a great deal of inner security to handle the singleness stage successfully. If you have worked your way through the stage, it is likely that you will experience the peacefulness and calmness of the singleness stage. You may get slightly upset about the attitudes of others, but you'll be strong enough to handle them. Learn from the external prejudices and use them to become more secure in your own internal feelings.

The concerns of a single parent

As a single parent, you may face difficulties bringing up your child in the Indian context. You may be charged with remarks like “your child is not receiving proper parenting, hence she fairs poorly at school”. You might feel angry, vulnerable and even defenseless. But you can be assertive about such common show-downs and discrimination and instead help to educate others while maintaining your own integrity. Remember, a firm response to such discrimination will definitely make you feel better inside and boost your confidence rather than staying quiet or fuming away!

Singleness can be an important building block for children too. They learn to be single and and independent and at the same time having a clear opinion about things. They also understand the importance of relationships better and have much better chances of entering into healthy successful relationships in their future.

Single and ready to mingle!

What happens when it seems that you may be getting involved again? It is natural to be apprehensive when someone comes along, again, and wants to be a part of your life. While you may have realized the fact that you are fine being alone, thanks to your ‘single being the new relationship’ discovery, you can handle things if they don’t go your way, much better this time.

It may not sound like a very romantic idea, but it sure is quite optimistic! The optimism resides in the fact that you are buckled up to go back to being yourself if things don’t work out. Believe that you were a whole person before the opportunity of a relationship came knocking. Rest assured, if you have the attitude of not making that ‘special someone’ the solution to all your problems but an asset to your life, the relationship can be really stronger. Take a risk so you can have all that life offers! There’s no reason we can’t have it all!

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Bonsai Bold and Beautiful

Bonsai, the Japanese practice of tray cultivation has bowled over horticulturists, aesthetes and enthusiasts alike. The sheer gracefulness of the species, the intricate detailing of its woody trunk and the lengthy work that goes behind sculpting the perfect foliage is sure to hold you in rapture. Let's find out how these miniature delights can adorn your garden or drawing room too.


Zen Buddhism as practiced in Japan is a melting pot of various ideals that the Japanese society is founded on. It is the mantle from where man, nature, the elements and all forms of change arise and blend into each other through a unique process of meditation and expression. It is to this ancient Japanese way of life that Bonsai traces back its roots. It derives its name from the Japanese practice of tray cultivation. To a modern layman, it is defined as the art of growing trees or woody plants fashioned like trees, in containers. However, to an ardent horticulturist or an aesthete, Bonsai is not just a hobby; it is a practice that allows a greater understanding of the macrocosmic universe and facilitates our being in unison with nature.

A lengthy work of fiction by the name of Utsubo Monogatari (The Tale of the Hollow Tree) dating back to the year 970 talks about Bonsai thus: “A tree that is left growing in its natural state is a crude thing. It is only when it is kept close to human beings who fashion it with loving care that its shape and style acquire the ability to move one." And thus began the modification of the natural Bonsai to suit the human ideal of beauty.


Bonsai Cultivation:

Tradition pronounces the existence of three basic virtues that are necessary to create a bonsai: shin-zen-bi standing for truth, goodness and beauty.
Bonsai are grown from seeds or cuttings, from young trees or from naturally occurring stunted trees relocated into containers. Most bonsai range in height from 5 cm to 1 m in height. They are kept small and seasoned by pruning branches and roots, by periodic repotting, by dashing off new growth, and by wiring the branches and trunks to obtain a desired shape.

Bonsai can be created using almost any perennial woody-stemmed tree or shrub which produces true branches and stays small along with its crown and root pruning. Some species who have the ability to stay dwarfed due to their confinement in a pot and have certain characteristics such as small leaves or needle, are appropriate and popular material for bonsai. However, bonsai does not require genetically dwarfed trees. It rather is a process of growing small trees from regular stock and seeds. , but rather depends on growing small trees from regular stock and seeds. Bonsai uses gardening techniques like pruning, root reduction, potting, defoliation, and grafting to produce miniature trees that impersonate the shape and style of mature, full-grown trees.


Propagation:

Cutting and layering are the two most favoured propagation techniques that quickly produce a mature trunk with well-placed branches.

Cutting, as the name suggests, involves cutting off a part of a growing plant and placing it in a growing medium to develop its roots. The thicker the cut-off part, the more mature or aged-looking bonsai can be grown and in no time at all.

Layering is a method in which a part of a plant is rooted-off while it is still attached to the parent plant and then grown into an independent entity. This technique leads to the transformation of a mature branch into the trunk of a new tree.

Indoor Bonsai:

Typically, bonsai are crafted from temperate tree species grown in containers and kept outdoors. Artificial indoor conditions make them weak and stop them from thriving. A number of tropical, sub-tropical and Mediterranean trees ideally require consistent room temperature, correct lighting and humidity conditions to be kept indoors round the year. Species from cooler climates benefit from a winter dormancy period. However, no further decrease in temperature is required. In fact, a north-facing window provides just the right amount of light for these tree species to grow in the winter months.


Outdoor Bonsai:

Since most bonsai species belong to the temperate Japanese tradition and are outdoor trees and shrubs, they require moderate temperature, humidity and sufficient sunlight during summers. Careful watering, shielding them from excessive sunlight or wind, and protection from winter conditions through the use of cold boxes or winter greenhouses can not only help the plants survive but also thrive They undergo a dormancy period in winters and can be safely brought indoors since they require cold temperatures, reduced watering and minimal sunlight. Any inappropriate rise in either of the above mentioned conditions may weaken or even kill the species.


Crafting Styles of Bonsai:

The most common styles of bonsai are elucidated below:

The most popular formal upright style or Chokkan, is characterized by a straight, upright and tapering trunk where in branches are the thickest and the broadest at the bottom and grow very fine at the top.

The informal upright style or Moyogi comprise appparent curves, with the apex located above the portion where the trunk dips into the soil. The branches taper down as they grow further. However, this gradual advancement is interrupted by the irregular shape of the trunk which makes a branch either very prominent or obscure.

Slant-style or Shakan, bonsai are marked by straight trunks that emerge from the soil at an angle making the apex of the bonsai appear to the left or the right of the root base.

Cascade-style or Kengai bonsai are imitate trees which grow over water or by the mountain sides.

Raft-style or Netsuranari bonsai have the tree toppling onto its side. Branches along the top side of the trunk grow as a bunch of new trunks and sometimes roots grow out from buried portions of the trunk. Raft-style bonsai can have sinuous, straight-line, or slanting trunks and give the impression of a group of separate, independent trees
The literati style or Bunjin-gi bonsai is characterized by a mostly bare, long and contorted trunk with minimum branches growing on top of it.

The group/forest style or Yose Ue comprises planting of several trees, usually of the same species, in odd numbers, in a bonsai pot. A variety of heights is employed to reflect age differences and enhance the visual appeal.

The broom style or Hokidachi comprises trees with straight and upright trunks with fine branches almost 1/3rd of the trunks’ height growing up in all directions to form a ball-shaped crown together with the leaves.

The multi-trunk style or Ikadabuki has multiple trunks growing out of one spot and having a single root system when actually it is one single tree. All the trunks combine to form one crown of leaves and the thickest and the most developed trunk forms the top.

The Shari style or Sharimik style aesthetically portrays a tree’s struggle to live with a significant part of its trunk being bare of bark.
In the root-over-rock style or Sekijoju, the roots of the tree wrap around a rock that lies at the base of the trunk.

The growing-in-a-rock or Ishizuke style comprises the roots growing in the soil contained within the cracks and holes of the rock. The tree may either take after the shape of the rock (acting as a simple container) or develop independently and have its own contours.


Techniques of Cultivation:

Bonsai borrows various cultivation techniques to be applied to it in unusual ways. Some of them are as follows:

Pruning: Pruning is the first step in making a collected specimen eligible to become a bonsai. The method involves removing the top of the trunk to make the tree more compact. A few branches coming in the way of the desired design may be trimmed or completely removed.

Leaf trimming: This technique engages the selective removal of leaves or needles from a bonsai's trunk and branches for aesthetic appeal.

Wiring: Wrapping copper or aluminium wire around branches and trunks allows the creation of the desired form along with crafting branch details and leaf placements. The wire keeps the new branches in place till they ‘lignify’ or convert into wood.

Clamping: The technique derives its name from screw-based clamps which are used for designing and shaping (straightening or bending) the trunks and branches of larger and stronger specimen.

Grafting: This technique employs the introduction of new growing material, typically a bud, branch, or root to a prepared area on the trunk or under the bark of the tree. It allows the addition of branches and roots to improve and enhance the bonsai design since most favourite species do not thrive on their natural root stock.

Defoliation: In defoliating almost all the leaves of a healthy tree of a suitable species are removed by clipping partway along each leaf's petiole. However, defoliation weakens the tree and should not be performed in two consecutive years.

Deadwood: This technique involves exposing the bark of the bonsai to suggest its age and maturity. The method of complete removal of the bark from the trunk to create an impression of a snag or deadwood is called ‘jin’ while “shari’ employs stripping the bark from certain areas of the trunk to replicate natural scarring from a broken limb or a stroke of lightning. However, instead of stripping the bark, tools mat also be used to scar the deadwood followed by chemicals like lime-sulphur to bleach and preserve the exposed deadwood.


The Bonsai Container:

The bonsai truly epitomises the expression “heaven and earth in one container”. It is the container that gives the bonsai its entity, for while the plant is in soil, it is totally independent of the earth. Symbolically, Japanese believe that it is at the centre point that the heaven and earth unite and nothing intervenes in between. Sticking to this tradition, a bonsai should always be positioned off-center in its container. Moreover, this also enhances the plant’s visual appeal.

Care for Your Bonsai:

Water: A bonsai tree has very limited space inside its container. Importantly excessive heat and wind are detrimental to bonsai’s growth. Hence sufficient watering is very important. However, frequent watering may lead to fungal growth which in turn leads to rotting of the root. Free draining soil should be used to prevent water logging.

Repotting: Repotting more often while the bonsai is in its growing stage and decreasing the frequency as it become prevents the tree from becoming container-bound. It also promotes the growth of new feeder-roots that allow the tree to absorb moisture with ease. Replacement or “growing boxes” allow the roots to grow more freely and its trunk and branches to grow fuller and thicker.

Soil and fertilization: Bonsai requires a loose, fast-draining mix of coarse sand, fired clay pellets or expanded shale combined with an organic component such as peat or bark. The inorganic components in the soil support the roots and fired clay also helps to retain essential moisture. A small quantity of fertilizer, usually in a dilute form is applied during the bonsai’s growing season.

Tools: The most commonly used tool is the concave cutter designed to prune the bonsai without leaving a stub. Other popular and useful tools include branch bending jacks, wire pliers and shears of different sizes for detailing and shaping.

It’s all about aesthetics:To a horticulturist, bonsai may be a hobby or a profession. To an aesthete a full-grown bonsai is definitely a masterpiece.

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Is Your Spouse A Professional Rival?

Is it good for a husband and his wife to be in the same profession? Or are couples better off pursuing their different career interests? Let's dive into the nitty-gritty of successful marital lives to evaluate whether the grass is really greener on the other side.

Questions such as this are not exhausted with a yes or a no answer. It really depends on what the parties want for themselves individually and together. Falling in love, staying in love and making a marriage work out transcends these mundane arguments. You and your partner being lawyers or engineers is really a trivial concern. As long as your spouse is interesting, exciting, caring, loving, considerate and above all a ‘family-person’, it's all good, really.

While some may believe that being in the same profession bolsters the bonding between couples, reinforces an understanding towards each others’ work ethics and commitments and also takes the professional pressure off their back, others believe that such a situation may lead to unhealthy rivalry and competition between the couple. Such a situation will only worsen with time; beginning with hurting each other’s ego, it might become as colossal as leading to a separation.

Remarks Priyamvada Singh, a lawyer by profession: “Initially I thought it would be interesting to marry a legal practitioner since we shared a common passion – our career .But once it so happened that we were involved in the same case. He was to defend his client while I was the government lawyer. The case took a toll on our family life since we were fighting against each other. During those days we would talk each-other to death and keep arguing forever! Our marriage was actually in distress!”

In another recent case, Rajat and Mansi Agarwal, both working in the advertising industry, fell prey to recession and were shown the pink slip. Under such an unfortunate circumstance we are pushed to believe that if an adverse economic or socio-political climate affects a particular profession negatively, the family can still manage to sail through with the other profession. Importantly, seldom does your partner know about better prospects apart from your current similar vocation. This may lead both of you to a severe financial crunch, besides wrecking your mental peace.

It is unwise for a husband and his wife to take up similar careers. For one, it is rare that a husband and a wife handle the same case similarly. There lies an inherent ‘conflict of interest’ in their points of view about things. One making a steady progress might upset the other and create undesirable pressure. Imagine a situation whereby a wife gets promoted while her husband is professionally still her subordinate. A worst case scenario could be the couple working in the same organization and the nature of duties requiring one to report to the other. And if the wife happens to be the rude type, at the slightest provocation, which most women are typically extremely vulnerable to, she would not hesitate in reminding the husband of his place in the professional scheme of things. Knowing how high a man holds his ego, such a situation will not only bring about the ruin of his professional stability but also devastate his self-esteem.

There are bigger tribulations than these. A person well-educated about the work ethics of a particular profession might even doubt the integrity of his partner. Careers involving late-nights, free interaction with the opposite sex, the liberty to dress casually and comprising nonchalant attitude towards work, are not taken well (forget valued) by most Indian partners – men or women. What would you in the face of such concerns? Would you rather destroy your home because of your work?

Then there’s a different group that spots no problems in couples being in the same profession. According to them the responsibility falls back on both partners to find fun and excitement, and convenience of being in the same profession. Open old albums and you’re sure to pin-point at least a few couples who met in the same workplace, even families whereby parents and children have taken up similar careers. Businessman marries businessman and an actor marries and actor. There’s nothing wrong in that!

Pratyush Kaul, a theatre actor, says “being together with my wife who is also a theatre artist has helped me a lot. We have that wavelength and understanding between us. We have seen the pitfalls of success and failure together. An actor's life is very insecure. There is a lot of demand on each other. And only an actor can understand what the other is going through. We discuss our work together and let out our frustrations which could vary from troubling co-actors to professional inconveniences."

A lot depends upon the profession you are in. Some people love talking to their partners about projects, interests, ideas, concepts without ever feeling that it would get too much and too monotonous. What might appear as jargon to the rest of the world might mean understanding and being at the same wavelength to them. In such a condition, both partners learn to respect and value each other’s knowledge, experience and values. The only major issue that might crop-up is that they take their arguments to work and it affects their professional performance. All other trivial issues can be resolved by open-minded and clear thinking by loving partners.


Interestingly, the very reasons which alienate couples from each other, act as a bonding factor for couples in the same profession. For one, your partner knows the tricks of the trade along with its pros and cons. As much as you can’t hide anything from him, you can rest assured that he or she, owning to her industry experience, will come to your aid when the situation arises. This also diminishes the scope of doubt between partners. No more are regular tours or late nights an issue because you can see your feet fitting perfectly in your partner’s shoes! Importantly, couples with same careers know that their work is as important as their partners’. They also know their limits and boundaries. This makes way for the three most essential elements that comprise a successful relationship – trust, independence and understanding.

Recently married Abhay and Preety Kumar enjoy belonging to this category. Says Abhay, “I'm an entrepreneur and so is my wife. I make documentary films and she edits them. We enjoy working together as a team, perhaps because we are a couple. We know each other as individuals and from time to time appreciate and criticize each other’s work too. But the best thing is the criticism generates from our knowledge of what can make each other better as professionals as well as human beings.”


To this Preety adds, “Erratic schedules, things getting delayed, round-the-clock work…and also the profit, he knows about the perks of being an entrepreneur and at the same time the negatives too. As my husband he is the best person to advice me to do the right thing. Of course the love of profit is also another thing that unites us! A family with two entrepreneurs is truly exciting!”
Being in the same profession does not affect time spent with the children any more than being in a different demanding job. There are people who are in the same profession and make great couples.

In fact, they are all around us – doctors, lawyers, teachers, bankers. Almost any doctor you visit, chances are his or her husband or wife is a doctor too! They are happily married and doing great.

However, similar profession could be tasking too. For instance, as doctors both partners might have to make themselves available for round the clock calls. The same holds true for actors, film makers and media professionals. If such scenarios become a regular affair, they either lead to negative implications on married life or compromise by either of the partners. Matters may take a bad turn when a partner starts out-spacing the other. If the couple is mature and do not view each other as rivals, they may find it easier to communicate and sort their problems.

While being in the same profession may make you feel that there is nothing new to discover in a person and that your conversations with your spouse revolve around professional matters only. Chances are, there may be clashes over professional points of view, ego problems and even arguments about who is right and who is wrong. There might also be a dimension of financial insecurity involved since both partners will be equally hit by an economical crisis. But then, there are paybacks too!

A partner is an asset, not a business rival. Relationships are formed when we meet like-minded people. The profession part of it may take a back-seat if partners are well tuned to each other, are understanding, non-interfering and know how to draw a line between the ‘professional and the ‘personal’. Whether or not he or she is more successful or earns more than you, what is more important is that both of you share a common vision of a successful family life while also maintaining similar philosophy and mission objective about your professional graph.

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Save My Date

Be it friends, friends of friends or a “hello stranger!” from the other side of the screen that defines your virtual world – in the parlance of social networking, dating is perhaps the very next step post acquaintance. Here are a few tips on how to make that first impression long-lasting!

Thousands of men and women go on dates everyday. Phone numbers and chat ids are exchanged in a jiffy and before you even get to know your ‘date’ (who might turn out to be a miscreant or a stalker) you’re already wondering whether a cool blue or a sexy black outfit will strike that first impression! Meeting for coffee, watching a flick, hanging out in malls, going to an amusement park or simply dining out are just a few examples of what they do on a date. And then there are people on the look-out for suitable life-partners who belong to an entirely different breed of daters. While for a few, dating might not be a ‘big deal’ (I am the way I am!), there are dozens others who don’t think twice before changing their ‘avatars’ and undergoing a transformation into something (no pun intended) that is definitely not them. What they do forget is that in doing so, they are not only portraying themselves as someone else but also under estimating their own innate capabilities and qualities as individuals.

Dating isn’t bad! After all it allows us to make room for someone new in our life, who may become a friend, a soul mate or even a guide in a short span or the long run. But the apprehensions remain – will she like me? Will he notice that I am flabby? Will she be a snob? Will he turn me down? Therefore, to help you strike the right cord with this new entry in your life, we have a quick checklist for you to flip through and hit it at go!

Be Yourself: Act naturally, although leaving a good impression gets the better of most people. It is important for your date to like the real you. It is okay to be who you are. Any pretension might lead to your date turning you down and there wouldn’t be any succeeding dates between the two of you anyway!

Time matters: Don't be early and don’t be too late too. While the former might portray you as a ‘desperado’, being late will reflect your lack of interest in your date. Be keen and be on time to show that you care about the other person’s time and have made a genuine effort for your date to be a success.

Keep your ears open: Being a good listener is very, very important. Give your date the chance to talk. Listening to your date will show that you care for what he or she has to talk about. That will make a great impression. Plus, it will help you know your date better.

Have a talk: Seriously now, “you say something… no you say something” is really old fashioned. It’s funny to see two daters sitting across the table, silently sipping coffee and noticing other people notice them. Start off easy. Initiate a conversation – talk about yourself, your likes, dislikes, etc. You do not want to step on unknown territory. Do not start excavating history, especially your past (broken) relationships. It instantly draws a comparison between your earlier partner and your date, and is a big turn-off! Don't be too negative about anything. Have a positive, friendly attitude. Don't wear your heart on your sleeve; a little bit of mystery will keep your date keen. People typically love an intelligent individual. Believe it or not, the level of intelligence in a conversation potentially has the same weight as the level of physical attraction; it all depends on how smooth the situation goes. Make it worthwhile!

Don’t be a brick. Have fun: A person may go on a date for various reasons. But whatever they may be, it is very important for that person to feel comfortable and have a great time in your company. Whether you choose to go to the theatre or catch up for lunch, as long as you’re having fun spending time with each other, everything will go well.

Don’t shy from looking into the eye: Whether your date is a success or not depends on eye contact. Let your date feel that your eyes are set only on him or her. It will reflect your interest in the person and what he or she has to say. It is also a great boost for your date which will quite spontaneously add a zing of comfortable attraction.

Study your date: It is very important to study a stranger you are meeting. This will reveal many useful things, including the fact whether this person is your type or not in the first place. Having studied your date you are ready to initiate a conversation of interest. You know whether your date is serious, humourous or of a platonic type. Depending upon your study, you can try to hit it big and make your conversation useful.

Compliment: Appreciation is another positive way of welcoming a person in your life, whatever is the span of time. People don’t want to hear negative things about themselves, that too from an almost complete stranger, anyway! Give compliments on appearance, fashion, hair-style, sense of humour, intelligence, special abilities, attitude…the list doesn’t end (either for the girls or the guys). Make the person feel special and your date will be a sure-shot success.

Relax baby! : Be at ease in each other’s company as much as possible. Try to find positive things in your date rather than making a note of the negatives. Laugh at each other’s jokes (however, forced laughter is a strict ‘no-no’ as it is more of a mockery of the other person. Allow some chemistry to happen (don’t wait for it to happen). Laughing strengthens your bond and breaks the ice too! And please, don’t look bored!

Last but not the least, some personal-grooming tips:
Presentation – No matter how you look, feel good about yourself. That will unleash a lot of confidence and make you feel good too. Try to work on everything as much as possible – clean nails, well-brushed hair, even the right perfume. Don’t go overboard. Presenting yourself well is not restricted to flamboyant attire and birthday-cake make-up. Do your bit without masking the real you. Good presentation gives your date the idea that you care about the meeting, and that, makes all the difference.

Now you know how to call it a day with a smile on a date! Of course, it all depends on your definition of "success." Be yourself! Remember you're both in the same situation; you are perfect strangers and you both are in need of a break. This is why you're out on a date, right? But for the sake of basics, make a successful date by simply making yourself feel confident for a second one.

And you can take on from there!

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Freelancers Do Not Work ‘For Free’

‘Tact’, my colleague, is the only way,
For a freelancer to get his promised fee.
Predictably so, I learnt it the hard way,
In pompous Delhi thus happened the epiphany.

Dream-makers was the company’s name,
A ‘big-tag’, hot-shot media house,
They made you toil your rear off,
And treated you like a puny mouse.

Interns would flock there like cattle,
Just to get a working chance,
The boss bossed around like a grand Turk all day,
Around him succumbing employees would dance.

My naivety came paired with a Master’s degree,
And a humble prior work-experience record too,
As a script writer at Dream-makers I would get,
Per month, ten grands into two.

Of course there were no written-contracts,
Ridiculous! Are you out of your mind?
A rookie freelancer demanding such legal formalities,
Must bid adieu to the project and step behind.

So I trudge for three new moons,
Work on three top-line lifestyle shows,
On the much-awaited pay-day,
A horde of excuses, my producer throws:

“We didn’t use your scripts.”
“The channel’s not paying up too.”
“The TRP’s are at an all-time low.”
“Plagiarize from other sources, did you?”

The string of excuses were abundant,
The boss was either busy, ill or away,
Dozens of rounds between Palam Vihar and Panchsheel,
Yet no sign of receiving my due pay!

I wrote many emails,
In scorn and desperation,
The matter kept getting delayed,
For a ‘sine-die’ duration.

“Nothing unusual!”, my friends said,
While I felt cheated, deluded and deprived,
I was a fool to not have a written contract,
My hard earned money was to me denied.

I conceived of ideas to sue them,
Made points to win the case,
I would defame Dream-makers, I resolved,
And get my payment with grace.

In another week, I disowned that idea too.
And settled with my doomed destiny,
Mom had warned, “Media is a dirty swindle”,
Perhaps, this was how things were meant to be!

It’s been three years since the episode,
And I’ve seen those shows on TV,
Dream-Makers here become Dream-breakers,
Just another side of the much-hyped media industry!

Thank God, I went through that grind!
For life slapped me with a much-needed lesson,
Do not get bedazzled by all that jazz of the business,
As a freelancer follow the ethics of your profession.

You would be made to toil as much as anyone else,
Why get beguiled by tricky smiles and balmy words?
Remember – it is not your daddy’s business,
So, play by the rulebook in this theatre of absurds.

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